Want some free rentals? Maybe a free iPod or games console?

Well, click on this here link http://Apple.real-incentives.com/?referral=4868
and sign up then.

It's that thing you may have heard about where you sign up, do one offer, then get others to do the same and they send you something for free.

I signed up for Lovefilm, because it's free. Basically, a two week free rental trial, where you get each new film when you send the old one back, cancel and they charge you nothing, and you've completed your offer.
I've got The Devil's Backbone, Kagemusha and When the Wind Blows all lined up to watch.

Now all I need are some people to be referred to it by me, and I can get a free iPod too.
It only takes 6 people to go from this link, and I'm in.

I'll let it be your Christmas present to me ;)

I'm such a fickle fool

Not much has been done on The Carpenter's Apprentice in the past 3 weeks, I think my enthusiasm is waning again. Maybe when I finally get some feedback I'll pick up the pace again.

Instead I've been thinking on pitches for Abaddon when they reopen their doors in February.
There's one for Chronicles of the Afterblight that wouldn't come together for me last year that I now have a rudimentary story for, which is a step up from just having a situation, which is where I beached last year.
I also started work on a Zombie story. However this has merged with another idea I was working on, and suddenly I'm liking my set up and story too much to give it away. It's one of those things, it had a high concept premise, but as I worked out the story and started making character cnnections, I realised it could easily support a series on it's own. At that time I still planned to pitch it to Jon.
Now though, well, I'm thinking I could make more money out of this if I keep it to myself and get an agent and publisher.
But should I? Getting it to Abaddon and commisioned would mean a guaranteed amount, but nothing more. Not pitching it could mean getting less and not getting the kind of distribution they get.

I've just spent a half hour writing the first five hundred words, and it all flowed so nicely, I had a great time. I was starting to forget how much fun writing can be when it all just comes naturally.

Time will tell which way I swing on this, but even if I don't pitch it, I've got at least another 2 ideas for Abaddon, not counting the one i mentioned above.

Missed opportunities, coincidences and doing stuff.

So yesterday I got up at a ridiculous hour to do a car boot sale, an attempt to rid myself of the mountains of videos in my room.
It did not go well, I still have most of them.
What I want to tell you about however, is the meeting of a girl and how I've been kicking myself since.

She came up to the videos as I was packing away, we chatted, and it seemed she was vry much like a female version of myself - where taste in film is concerned, not in respect to facial hair.
We chatted, then she said she was waiting until her friend came back from uni to go see Clerks 2, and she walked on.
I thought to myself, I should give her my number and say if she ever wanted to go see a film, then she could always ring me.
I didn't, because I am me.
Ever since I've been wondering what might have been had I done so - ho hum.

David Bishop finally added me to his friends on MySpace on Friday. Yesterday I thanked him and told him the Graphic Novel was on indefinite hold due to my work on The Carpenter's Apprentice and no communication with Emma.
This morning I awake to find an email from Emma saying she is ready to crack on with the book and thinks it will be even better now she has learnt more.
Life's just weird.

So now I will be alternating between Quinn and my novel. Probably doing more on the novel as it's got much more to write and I've set a deadline of New Year to have it done by.
With Quinn I hope to publish it as 4 individual comics, possibly in black and white, saving the colour print for the collected GN.

Josephet Tate: Page One

Like I said yesterday, here is page one of Josephet Tate.
I doubt I'll ever write a better intro to a character than this.

Having re-read it, I now know where my friend got the Transmet vibe from, I do visualise it drawn by Darick Robertson, 'cos it never hurts to aim high.
Also it probably has something to do with the fact the character starts hairy and ends up bald, but this guy is nothing like Spider Jerusalem.

Here you are.

Page 1.

Panel 1.

Wide shot of a shuttle on a launch pad. Clearly preparing for launch.

CONTROLLER: (Bubbles should be spikey and run vertically down the side of the panel) 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4.

Panel 2.

JOSEPHET is standing under the rocket boosters. His long hair and scraggly beard kind of go with the truly disgusting Hawaiian shirt he is wearing. He has a giant shit-eating grin on his face, and a fag hanging out the corner of his mouth.

JOSEPHET: 3. 2. 1. Rock On!

Panel 3.

The rocket bursts into life, beginning its climb towards the stars.

Panel 4.

JOSEPHET is now naked, his clothes having been burnt away by the force of the rockets. All his hair is gone as well, including his eyebrows. He does not look happy, like something has just failed him. There is no need to make this a full length image of him yeah? No little Josephet swinging in the wind cheers.

JOSEPHET: Fuck!

Panel 5.

JOSEPHET storms away from the launch pad. Marching purposefully.

JOSEPHET: I fucking loved that shirt!

Not doing much

I feel bloody knackered. Went to Brighton to pick up my latest comics subs today, and it's killed me.
Picked up book 1 of Planetary (I know, late to the party). Liked it, then looked at my MySpace messages to see one from Warren Ellis announcing that Planetary ends today. Done, finished, kaputski. Oh well, I think I'll be getting the other trades.

Tried to write, did 2 and some pages on Josephet Tate and the more I write, the more it feels like I'm ripping Warren Ellis off. My friend read the first page and said it read like Transmetropolitan, it has that vibe. Whether that means I'm writing well or just taking off a great writer in a poor story, I don't know.
May post page one tomorrow, I like that page.

Fell short of my 6 page aim, but brain is fried.

Trailer Remixes

This has been going on for a while now, but I found some new ones to share with you.

School of Rock as a Psycho thriller


Groundhog Day as a thriller


The Sound of Music as a tense political thriller


Ferris Bueller in Terminator 4

Quick Strip

No, not like that. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter.
A quick one from StripCreator.

Death Can't Take a Holiday

Not much work done on the book yesterday, and the weekends I get off. At least I'm creating something though.
Gotta keep those juices flowing. Not those juices! Oh I give up.

Making quick comics.

I have recently been introduced to the site StripCreator
I've only made one so far, but more will come I'm sure.

Check it out.

Keeping yourself interested.

I've noticed that when I do my daily target of words (3 times this week!) I tend to end the days work the same way I try to end a chapter, with something interesting, exciting or cliffhangerish.
It makes me want to keep telling the story the next day. So far I only failed on Wednesday, because I was so exhausted.
6000 words this week, I think I'm looking at an 80 to 90,000 word novel here, when originally I was planning on about 60,000.
Things keep happening though, I know where the story is going, I know who's who, but I don't know all the characters yet. Just introduced a new one, who was supposed to be a craven coward who dies later in a rearguard action. Now he's something else, still probably going to die, but not until the second novel at this rate.

3 scratchcards down, no money yet. 1 carried over to next week (Wednesday ticket).

Membership has benefits

Despite any claims to the contrary I may have made back in June, the only habit 've picked up is avoiding doing anything, and that's not new.

Well, a new leaf has been turned, rolled up and dunked in hot water to make a cup of tea. And now I'm fully refreshed in a classically British way, I can move on.

Last night I finally reached what I am provisionally calling the end of Book One of The Carpenter's Apprentice. All the main characters are established, truths revealed, skills demonstrated, bad guys smacked around, cue massive battle and time to get on with the plot.
It's been about 8 years since I first started work on this book, for the BBC's New Talent scheme where they wanted some children's novels as submissions. Kind of glad I didn't advance. I'm sure I would have finished the book back then if I had, but it was much more your generic fantasy plot, with 8 years of procrastination and thought the characters are much more developed and there is a massive overarching plot for the whole world.
It was this giant backstory that had me stumped for so long, it had grown so big and complicated that I lost sight of the smaller story I was actually telling with this book.

Today sees the start of plotting and writing for Book Two, another 45000 words and I should have a completed novel to start harrassing agents with.
However, crippling doubts have crept in, the only reason I managed to finish Book One is a series of bribes, promises and threats I made to myself. To save myself from this I'm collecting a bunch of readers from my gaming clan to read Book One and let me know if it is actually worth my time to continue on with this story, or if it's time to pack it away and make a start on one of the three other projects I have waiting for me to start.

It's not writers block.

And I'll prove that right now by writing a post on here.

No, instead what I am suffering from right now is my famous cannotdecideitis.
It's a tragic and debilitating problem that leaves you looking at five or six different projects and being unable to decide which one to write.
Professional writers, I imagine, don't suffer from this, they've got a deadline to meet and nearest deadline gets done first.
As an aspiring author, who has no deadlines or contractual worries, no money hanging on this decision, I can't choose.
Do I carry on with the 2/3 maybe 1/2 completed children's novel? Maybe do the post-apocalyptic novel that readers of the synopsis have cheered on. Perhaps I could do the action/horror novel I keep talking about.
I could even get on with one of several comic ideas. Perhaps work on that TV script I've been planning.

But which one? I can't choose, every day I think a different one is my best bet.
Tomorrow I'm implementing my reward plan, buying a scratchcard for every day of the week and if I meet my target for the day (6 pages of script or 2000 words of prose) then I get to scratch that days card. No day can ever have more than 3 cards on it, and on complettion of any project (except short stories and comics under 22 pages long) I get to scratch all of them.
It may cost me £5 a week to do this, but hopefully it'll motivate me, and there's always and outside chance my reward scheme will make me rich.

Somethings have happened.

Hello again. Last time we spoke I was preparing for a weekend in London, having had over a week to recover, I feel I can now talk about it.

Things didn't start too brilliantly when my train into London was delayed by 20 minutes, not that I noticed during the wait, which is the joy of being stuck head first into a good book.
After meeting up with my mate, we left for our first excusrion of the weekend. Across London on the mighty and mostly regular public transport system to a pub called The Griffin. My friend had explained this pub to me before, and some months earlier an epic cross-city trek to see it's unbridled fruits had come apart at the twelth hour, literally, as the place closes at midnight and that was our arrival time. This time we arrived early enough to see the young ladies of delight.
I have to say I was shocked, shocked I tell you. A pound in a pint glass from everyone for the girl to get up and strip, Sky Sports on the big screen between girls, offers of private dances, you'd probably join me in thinking that the "girls" would be 40 year old mum's with saggy boobs. But not, extremely attractive, nice smelling and very flexible girls are the order of the day. They get up on stage and wow the crowd with skillful displays of pole grinding. One girl even kept winking at the audience, and not with her eyes! (That's muscle control for you!)

Upon leaving the wonderful world of winking brown eyes, we set forth on a mission to buy more beer
"Hey, supermarkets do 24 hour beer selling now."
"Really? Let's get some more then."
As you can tell, a lot of thought went into our plan. Approaching the Sainsbury's, that most dreadful of "in the middle of London" afflictions struck us, the over full bladder. With pubs chucking out to the sides, there was no chance of slipping inside for a crafty non-customer piss, so it would be down to the many and varied alleys of London. Which presents a larger problem, clearly people have grown fed up of going to work and stepping over rivers of piss in the morning, so now all the visible alleys are well let and CCTV'd. The lights are not as much of a problem as the cameras are, you never know who is going to be sat there at a bank of monitors, hand on the zoom control, waiting for me to whip out my magnificent manhood. The solution is the age old "covering each other" mission. Which does not mean peeing all over your friend.
Bladders dry, river of golden glory stepped over, to Sainsbury's we did go.

At which point it was back to his, beers, Whatever on Channel 4, and that program is a big steaming turd if ever I watced one, and passing out on a settee.


I'll tell you about Saturday later.



In more interesting news, I've had 2 submission acceptances since my return.
One was for Zarjaz, the 2000ad fanzine, which I sent a Sinister Dexter story into a few months ago. Apparently he liked it and sent it to an artist, but forgot to mention it to me.
The Second was for the publishers of Sancho, the nice Irish lads over at 20000-Leagues. Nina and Styx, the everyday story of a teenage goth girl and her demonically possesed teddy bear will be seeing print, hooray! The acceptance email called Styx a classic character, which is cool, because I loved that trapped-in-a-cuddly-toy maniac!

Now, if I could just write something that I get paid for...


Oh, I didn't get the job. Hey-ho. But I do have the opportunity to buy a business, so there's stuff a-coming.

Hup Bang a lang.

And that title makes as much sense as a banana with a machine gun in a vegan restaurant.
Yeah, whatever.
You may guess (or you could look at the dates of past posts and see) that I've not been here for a while. The reason? It was so hot this summer, my brain actually melted and I've stored it in the fridge until it coalesced into a solid enough lump to force back in through my ear with a reasonable expectation that it would stay there.

But stuff has happened.
I started writing The Carpenter's Apprentice again, and have stopped for the 57th time. One day I'll even get the website up and running.
I am going to see if me and Jon can mesh our minds together and create a printable Future Shock or Terror Tale.
Finally, I had an interview today for the post of Freelance Reporter for the Six Vllages area. The fact there's about 12 villages in the area not-withstanding.
Got to say, I've never been more relaxed in an interview, I was not even slightly nervous. It's not like I'm convinced that I am the best for the job, I'm sure I can do it, but still.
Guess I'm just at a stage now where I can take what comes with ease.

Except for the fact that I still can't fit into my suit!
Damn podgy wasteline! But snacks are so nice. Humph!

Anyway, I'm back. But tomorrow I'm going to London for a "Nearly my birthday" piss up.
I may even try to get the APEs to come to The Church on Sunday.

So, next post will be Monday at the earliest. Let's see what the weekend brings!

I'm Spider-Man!

See above

I'm Spider-Man!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 85% Green Lantern 70% Hulk 65% The Flash 55% Robin 48% Superman 45% Catwoman 45% Supergirl 43% Batman 40% Iron Man 35% Wonder Woman 23%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Gotta make it a habit!

Wow, over a fortnight since my last post. I put off one because I was going to a wedding, then I never got around to it, and now I'm off to another tomorrow (wedding on Saturday, but 3+ hour travelling means a day before journey), what a train-set lifestyle I lead! (Because I'm too poor to travel anwhere by jet!)

So anyway. I have now written about 30 pages of the as-yet-untitled Courier follow up. Only about 80-ish to go.
Emma has made a start on the artwork, but it's going to be a long old slog before I'm happy with every line of dialogue and she's done all of the art. Sometome next year, which for someone who hops projects like fury is a long time for me, but I'm committed to this.

And I have to make posting here a habit. If anyone read it it might spark some interesting posts from any comments and questions people have. But as I'm all alone out here, I may just slpip into madness. Is blogging to yourself more mental than talking to yourself?

Moving in general directions.

Chapter 3 has been written, rewritten and had an extra page of violence added!
Huzzah!
However, it's still taking me too long to write my pages, I was going to stick with doing 2 a day, but I too often don't do anything in a day. Still, that makes about 24 pages done of a guesstimated 100. Although I'm thinking it's going to run over that, and I've been restraining myself!

I found out last week that I no longer fit into my suit! It's a terribvle and tragic thing, especially as I'm going to Sabrina's wedding on Saturday! I have enforced a rigid exercise programme on myself, and tried to cut down on my food intake, but it's so hard when there is nothing else to do around here.
Tomorrow I try the trousers on again and decide if I'm going to make it or if I need new trousers.

Saw X-Men 3 yesterday, and I liked it.
I then went on to read the reviews and comments of people online to see what others thought of it. And the split in opinion comes down to this
Movie goers - liked it, it had spectacle, humanity (mutantity?) and cool effects, even if there were a couple of wasted characters.
Comic book fanboys - hated it. Hated having their stories of their childhood crammed into this one film. It seems they want the film to either be all about the Pheonix or all about the Cure, not both.
I felt it worked fine, but comic book fans think the movie should appeal to them, whe in reality they are just a tiny, very vocal minority, of the people who will go to see this film. From sales figures I've seen, maybe 250 000 people buy X Men comics, over 8 times that number of people saw the film on opening weekend. Sorry boys, but appealing just to you isn't worth the money to make a film.

Ronery

I'm So Ronery
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
There's no one Just me onry Sitting on my rittle throne I work very hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes me serirousry
And so I'm ronery A little ronery
Poor rittre me
There's nobodyI can rerate to
Feer rike a bird in a cage It's kinda sihry
But not rearry
Because it's fihring my body with rage I work rearry hard and I'm physicarry fit
But nobody here seems to rearize that
When I rure the world maybe they'rr notice me
But untir then I'rr just be roneryRittre ronery, poor rittre me
I'm so ronery I'm so ronery

(Lyrics to I'm So Ronery by Trey Parker)
Yeah, I'm having a poor day, and now I have hiccups!

Got 1 page done on a Sinister Dexter stiry I plan to send to Zarjaz, beyond that, done nothing worthwhile in over a week and a half. So much for 2 pages a day.

Launch Pad

Presenting Launch Pad, the Superhero with Explosive Diarrhea as his power!
Drawn by Lee O Connor at the very end of this weeks Bristol Con when he offered to do a sketch, but neither of us could think of what he should do. And so I came up with, this guy.

And isn't it great.
I will have to do a 1 page story about him saving a cat or something.

Check out Lee's website at http://www.leeoconnor.com/

Back on Track.

OK, so last time's post was all about some cock ups at the benefit agency and I felt a need to vent a little.

Now I am well and truly back on track, keeping myself to a minimum of 2 pages a day for the Quinn Graphic Novel, hopefully Emma will be getting some artwork to me in the next few weeks.
Chapter 2 after a long and torturous time is now done. It's has turned out to be a slow, wordy chapter, so it's shorter than I originally planned. However, I spent ages trying to make it work by mixing in the action from the 3rd chapter to keep the pace going. Unfortunately that just wouldn't work for me. So now Chapter 3 is going to be slam bang all action and funky futurstic gadgets. Because what's the point of writng a futuristic undercover-cop-versus-London-underworld in mad-shooty-death if you don't add the crazy furturistic technology, like bullets that track by video camera and can turn corners after fired?

The Carpenter's Apprentice is on hold again, until I finish re-reading The Chronicles of Prydain again, a series I heartily recommend. They were the basis for the Disney pic The Black Cauldron, but the books are much better. Although any Disney film that has zombie warriors is alright in my book.

There you go, news, revelation and a recommendation, what more to you want?

Ok, maybe a chuckle at David Blaine's expense.

Rant (Spoiler, contains lots of swearing)

Fuck you
Fuck you all.
Fuck all of you with your working bodies and physical ability to hold a full time job.Fuck you for not having to live with your parents.
Fuck you with your "It's only £9 a month you can afford that can't you", because no, I fucking can't
Fuck you and your World of Warcraft addiction and those of you that only post in that fucking forum.
Fuck the DWP and their fucking up of my claim for the fourth fucking time. Fuck them and their "We made a decision in June last year." Fuck off you did, you never said a fucking word, except to send the wrong fucking form which you were told about.
Fuck the government and their downsizing of the Benfit Agency workforce, all you're doing is putting inexperienced people in place over experienced people and causing disruption to the system.
Fuck you and your "We want people off Incapacity benefit and into work", I try and you fuck me over.
Fuck you, whoever happens to be Minister for Employment and Benefits now. Fuck you you stupid sack of shit. The system worked, now it doesn't, and that's your fucking fault you public schoolboy retard.
Fuck you Blair, you were never Labour, there hasn't been a Labour government for over 20 years now.
Fuck you middle class wankers who think everything is OK when the people at the bottom who need your help most, the people that you are supposed to be working to improve their lives, get shat on everyday.
Fuck you and your telling me you made a decision in June last year and I shouldn't have been getting any money since then. I play nice, I play in the system, I spend hours filling in forms and making sure everything is double checked, and then you hire retard fuckwads who can't look at my whole file because it's still restricted access 3 years after working there and you fuck me.
Fuck off with your patronising smiles.
Fuck you and your happy lives, planning weddings, going to Comic conventions.
Fuck all of you who can do everything I want, but fuck you to my body which betrays me on a daily fucking basis.
I WANT OUT!


For those unable to read between the lines, I had a letter today telling me they are stopping my benefit for reasons that don't make sense. Also that the decision was made in June last year and I shouldn't have been getting money since then.

The only thing I got in June last year was a form about me working, which was the wrong form and they were told that.

Rage rage rage.

This was supposed to be a good few weeks, Bristol Comic Expo next weekend, a wedding a fortnight later and another a fortnight after that.
If this stands, I won't be going to any of them.

Down Down Down

So, not posting for 3 weeks, almost like all my old blogs that lie discarded by the wayside.

Had all 3 Future Shocks rejected, got the flu, feel like I'm a shit writer who no-one will ever want to read.
HooRah for crippling insecurities!

More when I don't feel so down.



And you should all go out and get the Infernal Affairs trilogy to watch. The Scorsese remake will be good, but I doubt it will match the brilliance of the original.

One shock down, another gives me a Devil of a time.

On Saturday I came up with a Future Shock idea, today I wrote the whole thing. Tomorrow it gets posted.
That's the fastest turnaround of conception to submission of anything I've ever written, and I think it's rather good.
The twist doesn't lend too much to guesswork and I think the story would keep any reader entertained. (I'm holding naive visions and hope an Ian Gibson-style artist could be used on it).

The other one began life as an idea for a short story, and I'm not sure that it's going to work as a comic.

Pff, don't care.

I got a Heroclix from Tharg! (Who now has his own MySpace http://www.myspace.com/thargthemighty)

I'm in 2000ad!

Yes, you read that right.
My name will be printed in 2000ad next to something I wrote.
It's a letter. But I got a free Nemesis the Warlock Heroclix for it, so that's cool.

I have just re-read what I sent, and it's ever so fanboy, over usage of 2000ad-isms like ghafflebette and Squaxx.

But hey, I'm in. That's Stage One complete.
Now, Stage Two, getting them to pay me for stuff.

Doing things, getting stuff done.

So, chapter one is done and off with the very nice man who said he'd have a look over it for me.
Chapter two, while planned, is waiting on comments made on chapter one before I put anything down.
I am in the middle of two Future Shocks, one of which I have been thinking of for a few years, but only recently decided to make it a comic instead of a short story.

I have lost my job, there was just no money to pay me, and, it turns out, there may not be the money to pay me for what I have already done, due to some crossed wires. Huzzah!

However I am on the lookout for work, and have seen something I can talk to my advisor about on Wednesday, unless I want to live in Barcalona for a year and teach English. It is something I have considered from time to time, but I don't think I'm ready to go do that just yet.
Had it been in Japan though, well...

Still heard nothing back on the two scripts I sent to 2000ad 2 1/2 weeks ago, so I have no idea if that's good/bad or means nothing.

Updates as we get them folks, remember, green oranges are bad for you!

Hunting the very rare Editorialis Freelancita

So last night I decide I'm going to email someone I've never met, never spoken to on the phone and the only connection to them I have is that I've commented in their blog a couple of times. And I emailed him to ask if he would be amenable to a touch of freelance editing.
And I was drunk at the time.

It's not the best set of circumstances, but let me tell you where I was coming from.
With work on Quinn well under way and Chapter 1 done, I began to think about it. I want people to pay money to read this, as such I want to make it the best I can.
Alan Moore has said his writing suffered because people got too scared to edit him, and I'm no Alan Moore (yet), so for this work to be the best it can be, I will need editorial help.
Finding an editor for prose wouldn't be too hard, yet still would provide a bit of a challenge.
But where the hell do you find a freelance comic editor?

The guy I emailed, he's not even an editor any more, he's a writer of many things, some of which I own, though they weren't bought based on his name, more the property he was writing. I mean the 2000ad audio plays, I don't even know how many are his.

My point is, he's the only one I could think of, and he doesn't do it any more.

I know that the art will have to grab people, but that's Emma's job. Mine is to turn out the best script I can, and for that it will need someone to give it the once over who isn't me.

Where the hell do I find one?

Quinn - Back to fight crime, and punch people

It may not be the catchiest tag line, but it will do for now.

Yes, rejoice you three people who may have read The Courier and visit this blog. For I have begun the mighty follow up, to be known as Quinn until further notice or a better title presents itself.
I had started to forget how much fun it is just to write, so I am doubly glad that Quinn is so much fun.
Some of you may know I am writing this for Emma (artist on The Courier) to draw, and then put it out as a graphic novel. It's nice, because for the first time I am writing something that doesn't have to be condensed into 5 pages. Which means I can plot out more characters and, more importantly, more entertaining fight and action sequences. I am 9 pages in so far and already I have a sequence I am very pleased with down. Whether I am trying to cram too much in and will get shot down by Emma, I don't know, but for now I can add camera swoops and explosion noises to my hearts content.

I think I need to be careful though, originally planned as 9, 10 page chapters, I am 8 pages done and haven't got to the meat of the chapter yet. I may need to find myself an editor after all. Either that or carry on like this which means exposition will necessarily be kept to a minimum.

Discussion needs to be had with Emma, because I am of the mind that we should only put up completed chapters, rather than individual pages as they are done. This would mean longer between updates online, but anyone coming in would have a complete section to read from the start.
Maybe even give it it's own webpage, seperate from Emma's site - which you should check out for her latest work Split Silver, not usually my kind of thing, but I keep reading it.

So yeah, stuff done, no reply from 2000ad, no Heroclix for me I guess, no rejection of the Furture Shocks yet either. To be honest, I think my favourite of the two I sent is better than the one in this weeks 2000ad, which seemed quite old fashioned and obvious. But hey, I'm always going to like my own stuff I guess.

Comedy in Reading (the town, not the verb)

Going up to my old haunts to see Omid Djalili tonight, I may have mentioned this before.
Due to a lack of planning and checking on my part, I am surprised to find I will have to crash there tonight, as there are no trains home late night.

However, a bonus piece of news, Futurequake has been named SFX's fanzine of the month. Now, it's not the issue I'm in, but it is a mag I have been accepted by, so I will take the reflected glory.
That's not a bad thing.

Assault on Tharg's Mighty Organ (heh).

Yes, today I stepped up my campaign to get my name, in print, in the mighty publication, otherwise known as 2000ad.
So, I have emailed the letters page and hope to get my Heroclix figure, a bonus Graphic Novel would be good, but the letter wasn't that deserving.
However, I now have 2 Future Shocks completed and ready to go, maybe a bit of dialogue polishing, but I'm very happy with one and a little puzzled with another. I know I've got a decent story, but for some reasons I can't quite suss why it doesn't seem right, I may have just spent too much time thinking on it to be honest.

Tomorrow I go to Reading to see Omid Djalili on stage. While there I will be droppping off a few of the printed copies of The Courier with Jon, who has offered to pass them around the 2000ad office. With rumours that the Megazine will start printing small press strips to bring cost down and fill pages, there is a chance that will prove more useful than had I given them to him to hand around a couple of months ago like I meant to.

Meanwhile I've managed to start a couple of long threads on the 2000ad message board, not to do with me, but I like the fact I've got people talking.

Anyway, that's two more Future Shocks I need to do this week, at the very least. May even get 3 done.

In other news check out the BBC's Open Earth Archive, where you can cut together your own little movies of nature, or download more clips and make a longer one.

Anyway, fare thee well, traveller on the virtual seas, pass back this way again, maybe there will be news that you care about. But probably not.

Nuff Said

Rob Spalding -- [noun]: An immortal 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Such a slacker!

So I had last week off work while the company tries to find the money to continually employ me.
"Perfect!" you cry, "now you have plenty of time and no distractions to get in the way of your writing."

Ah, so true. Six Future Shocks mostly planned out in my head. More chapters needing to be done for The Carpenter's Apprentice, perhaps even get to work on the action-Cthulu story.

So I watched Firefly from start to finish, then read the Serenity comic and watched Serenity. I need more stories in the Verse!

Yup, I wasted the week, yay me! I did get on FS done, but I am not happy with the ending. And now I also have this week off, which doesn't give the best bodings (is bodings a word?).

But I will get stuff done this week! If only because I have watched everything, read al my comics, including Bone which you should all get because it's brilliant.
So, this week the plan is to get at least 4 Shocks done, and as a reward I won't panic over how much it's going to cost to get to see Omid Djalili on Wednesday.

Yeah, because I won't waste this week either, I despair of myself.

Getting there.

Yup, so website bought. Images begged for and got a couple. First two chapters re-written and just about ready for first public consumption.
Joomla installed and struggling with.

Yes, that's right, it can't be too much longer before I actually get the site up for people to view. I will however need techie help from my mate, who I (shamefully) only ever seem yto see these days when I need tech help. That's partly because he's so busy and partly because I'm so lazy.

After agonising over trying to come up with Future Shock ideas for a few years, last week was inspiration central, I came up with 4 new stories and resolved how to fit another 2 into the framework after being stuck for about 6 months on them.

The follow up to The Courier, provisionally titled Quinn, carries on apace in my mind. And I will be heading to the Bristol ComicExpo because Jon has crashing space, which is cool. So I may be pimping the (unwritten and barely planned) book there. In a related bonus my local comic shop said they would take some on a sale or return when it's done, even let me do a promotional day where I can sit in there and sign copies. Which will be nice.

Anyway, movement, movement, forward the Year of Rob!

I Got a Website!

Oooooh, yes I do.

I finally got the cash into my account and bought my domain. Now all I have to do is con/beg my web-savvy buddy to help me start coding it and get it up there.

When it is up and running I'll be posting my novel The Carpenter's Apprentice up for people to read for free.
It's a Fantasy Adventure story for kids and it's something I'm proud of.
Hopefully others will find it entertaining an excting, and will stick with it as each chapter comes up to read.
So far there are 12 completed chapters, and they will be going up on a bi-weekly schedule.

Anyway, link will crop up at the side when the content is ready.

On another note, the final page of The Courier is up on Emma's site. That's the whole Prologue as I am now starting to call it. Work will begin on the full length follow up in about a month for me, and I'm hoping to get the first script to Emma by the end of March.

Money Money Money!

So, I should finally be getting paid for working! I mean, I've only been at the company for about 8 months!

S'cool though, I wasn't meant to get paid, until 4 weeks ago, I can't beleive how long it's taken to get the money sorted, and it's nothing to do with the company either, just stupid government agencies. That's not paranoia, the JobCentre have it in for me!

And I got my InCap today, so with the 6 weeks wages, which I now realise won't be £420 'cos it's got to be taxed (boo!) but I should still have enough to take a chunk off of my overdraft and finally buy my website!
Woo-Hoo!

Once I get my techie mate round to give me a hand I should be able to start posting up my novel in installments.
If there are any artists who read this, I going to be asking for some character illustrations, for no money, to brighten up the website.

Anyhoo, I'm a happy chappy!

The Result

Liverpool 1 - 0 Arsenal.

Bugger.

Valentine Shopping in Tesco.

So, as a single guy, I won't make any kind of typical "Oh why am I alone, on this the most overhyped and romantic day of the year?"
Instead, I want to think a while on a topic that I'm considering exploiting next year.

And that is, singles in Tesco on Valentine's day.

Now, I live a good 15 minute car drive from the nearest decent pub, and a 20 minute walk from the nearest poor pub.
It's only 5 minutes drive to Tesco, and so me and my mate across the road have made it the highlight of our week on occasion, because there is nothing else to do.

I popped in tonight to grab the cheapest bottle of red wine I could find, so I could get drunk watching the Arsenal/Liverpool match (which so far is poor) and get down to plotting that graphic novel.
While having an aimless wander I began to think. I have heard it said that supermarkets are a good place to meet women, fill a basket with either stuff that makes you look cultured, or stuff that makes you look a bit lonely, and try to strike up conversations with women who also have similar stuff in their baskets.
And it struck me, women, wandering around Tesco at 7.45 on Valentines Day are either single, or about to dump the guy that left them to wander about a supermarket that night.
I saw a few, and had I had more than £3 to my name, I may have tried to get one to go for a "we're both sad enough to be here tonight" dinner. I say may, but I would probably chicken out, it's what I do.

Now, my thought is, are the women there likely to be more or less receptive? I'm thining more, but then again, being approached by a strange bearded man probably isn't what they want. In my experience it's not what any women want.
But for those who don't look like a relation of Chewbacca or as if the only light you've seen all year is the glow of your computer monitor, then it may be worth a go.

Let me know how it pans out for you, yeah?

Printed Copies!

I have a few copies of the Courier in my hands!
After some thoroughly scary quotes for getting 50 done, I am printing them at home. This has the bonus of not needing a minimum amount and being able to print off as many as I need.
Got to do 10 or so tomorrow for Emma.

But it is so cool to hold in my hand something that I wrote and see it in it's graphic form.

All those none of you reading this blog, if you want to see it, check out the link on the left.
Unless you want to offer me some work writing a comic for you, then ask and I'll post you a copy. I'll even sign it if ya like!

I'm a Classic!

Yup, that's right. I was told today that I am a classic.
OK, so it was followed by the words "...case of someone suffering from CFS." But if we ignore that...
No?
Sod the lotta ya. So, the story is, I went to see the people at the CFS clinic today. A specialist who deals with people who suffer the same condition as me every day. It turns out I'm not anxious or depressed, well I could have told them that, and I did.
There are apparently three things that help everyone with CFS, first is a strictly controlled exercise regimine, which I am now on a waiting list (hooray Britain!) to get in on. Second is pacing, basically realising that if I do lots today, tomorrow I wioll be screwed. The third is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, but they only seem to use that on people who are anxious or depressed (they don't mention anything about people with psycopathic tendancies, ho-hum).

On the comic side, I have started to sketch out a rough idea for what I want to do in the Courier Graphic Novel/Long comic. Only problem is that I keep thinking in far too grand terms - "There should be an earthquake." "No, there should be the invasion of an enemy nation state's army." "NO! There should be an earthquake set by an enemy nation so their army can invade." All this, I should mention, in the middle of an Infernal Affairs-type story. And if you haven't seen that film, do yourself a favour, go get it now!
But I am drafting in some characters from an unwritten story, because they will slot nicely into the world. I have a protagonist, an antagonist, a selection of minor characters, backstories, motivations. All I need now is an actual plot for the main story.
It's going to come, I'm sure of it.

Back Once Again, but no Renegade Master.

So yeah, I've been away to sunny Reading.
Jon's birthday was good, and it's always nice to see the guys and mock them for playing waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much World of Warcraft.

I have some copies of The Courier in my hand, most are photocopies in greyscale and don't look as good as the spangly colour ones.
All I have to do now is find somewhere to get some full colour ones printed up at a not extortionate amount.

Also, I'm not done with Quinn, there is much more of his story to tell, and Emma is on board for the long haul. So it may be that I will get a graphic novel out there, even if it is self published.

Doesn't bother me, though, of course, I'd rather get paid to do it, but getting it out there will be a tremendous result and allow me to fulfill a long standing ambition - to write something that ends up in the British Museum. I think I've wanted to do that since I heard it stores every book ever published, when I was about 5, so over 20 years a standing ambition.
That's more commitment than anything else in my life ever!

Ballsy Move.

At the Brighton Comic Expo last November, Tony Lee said I should just email Joe Quesada at Marvel and ask for work.
"Yeah right." I thought.

But I've just done it. All this latest forward motion has got me some (over)confidence. I can't really believe I just did that.

On the other hand, if I don't ask him, he'll never get the chance to say yes.

The worst that can happen is he says no. At least I hope that's the worst that can happen.
Sudden visions of big guys in suits with baseball bats turning up at my door.
"Mr Quesada don't like to be bothered."

*gulp*

Surely not, he always seems so nice on those DVD extras.

Party time, let's go to work.

Several things to cover here.

First, I now have in my grubby little mitts a test run of "The Courier", as in a printed and bound version. I am now past the point of objectivity on this comic, having spent so much time re-reading it. But it still has lines that I love in it.
Hopefully I'll have a couple done up for this weekend, more on that in a mo.
Emma has put up the cover and page 1 on her site. No idea how long between updates she will do, there are only 7 pages of comic and it took her a couple of months to draw, so I would guess she is going to tease it out some.

Second, I am off to Reading this weekend for Jon's birthday. That's Jon "Dammit accept one of my pitches", editor at Abaddon. So I get to drunkenly barrage him with ideas this weekend.
Apparently there will be a nice bloke who wrote for the latest series of Doctor Who there also. I met him a Brighton Comic Expo, so hopefully when I slip him a copy of the Courier and try to blag some sort of work off him, he won't be too surprised.
I hope.

Thirdly, I am writing this while waiting to see how MarioKart for the DS is doing on ebay. At the moment its 2 minutes away and I'm preparing to bid.
Hang on a minute.

Wait for it...


So exciting.



While we wait - watch Life on Mars. It's the best new thing on British TV at the moment.
Also, watch My Name is Earl, the funniest new sitcom since Scrubs - honest!

Here we go...

30 seconds to go.


I win!

OK, you can all go now. Nothing to see here.

What a pitch!

So, just mailed off my latest pitch for Abaddon. It's set in their fantasy world and probably is more political than most of the pitches they get.
And I just realised I didn't mention it is totally non-allegorical to the editor. I can see where a lot of comparisons between it and recent events could be drawn, but it is just a story, based on my reading of their world guidelines.
Ah well.

The next pitch to finish has tombs, monsters, traps and treasure. Your standard fantasy fare, but I think the political one would be more rewarding to write.
Then again, like I keep saying, I'll take anything.

Some forward motion.

So, Emma has put up the cover of The Courier. I really like it, and it's all her, no input from me at all on the cover.
In other comic news, FutureQuake accepted my submission, so that's a few more people who get to see my name in print.

The Matthew Reilly/HP Lovecraft story is progressing at a rate of 500 words a week, which is far too slow. Must do some writing on it.

Still have to type up that hand written Terror Tale, but the acceptance from FQ makes me more positive.

Finally, "The Year of Rob" is gaining momentum.

Inspiration I got, a follow through, I don't.

SO, started a pitch for Abaddon after the double rejection. And I haveno idea where it is going. Plans I had have been ditched without bare consideration to my brain. I'm thinking that I may dump them in an underground tomb with as yet undescribed beasties waiting to break out. The question is, should the wizard be nice and a bastard, or evil and a bastard?

Got going on another pitch, aiming for a Black Hawk Down in fantasy land kind of deal here, and I mean like the book. Films ok, but the book is so much better.

Might have another zombie pitch bubbling away. Zombies as the good guys, can that work?

Wrote up and sent of the revised script for FutueQuake, at long bloody last. Not quite perfect, but I did get it all onto one page, which I think has crammed it slightly.

Been having a bash on the Penny Arcade Auto Assault Beta weekend. Can't make up my mind. It's fun, but would I spend hours playing it, especially as I can't find any kind of in game comms, like the chat in World of Warcraft. Bah, got the entire weekend to piss about with it.

Parents are away, so I should be drunk and writing for the rest of the weekend, I hope. Lots of FA cup action on over the weekend so I may get distracted.

Finally, Jon of Abaddon and rejecting my pitches fame, has said he'd pay money to watch me walk on stage and start a stund up set with "All the wankers in the room, hands up."
I have until march to decide if I have the bottle to do that.

Excuse the spelling mistakes, I'm a tad drunk.

Oh, and I'm waiting on one more page and then The Courier is complete, except for a couple of dialogue changes!

But no-one reads this blog, so only I care. But that is enough.

Denied!

Just checked my mail, to find 2 rejections from Abaddon. I can see the point being made on both of them. Maybe I can re-submit my Pax Britannia one if I iron out some of the inconsistencies I mentioned, or just totally rework it, as I like my main characters. As for the zombie one, perhaps a short-ish story is called for, and as it isn't specific to any world, I can submit that anywhere.

At least it has me working on my Fantasy world pitch, now if only I had a clue where it was going. I changed my mind and now I'm lost. The internal logic so far is good, the characters seem to stand up well, but I don't have a clue where it's going. I was planning on some Indiana Jones type escapades in that world with this, but think that will have to wait for something different.

Pah, at least I'm dealing with the rejection in a positive way, by cracking on with something new.
That is positive, right?

Done and Nearly Dusted.

While in the office yesterday I finished up the major and most dull part of the database. Woo-Wee!
Now all I have to do is a bit of tinkering and make it accessible and usable for anyone else. Which is potentially a bit of a bugger.

Have done nothing today, instead watched the first five episodes of a show called "How I Met Your Mother." Which is funny in a quirky way. However what makes this show a bit odd to me, just like another new show called "Crumbs" is the fact that they both look to have been shot single camera style, like "Scrubs" and "Malcolm In The Middle", but then they added a laughter track to it. To me this seems about as good as the laughter track they added to old Hanna-Barbera cartoons, it just seems out of place.

Hopefully I can get the Terror Tale I found the other day typed up tonight, but I am supposed to be going to the cinema to see Underworld: Evolution with the folks. I can live with not seeing it until DVD, but I haven't been to the flicks in ages.

In other news, Emma has posted up on her news page that she expects to start putting The Courier up for people to look at on Friday. I still haven't seen the last two pages, but based on what I have seen so far, they will be awesome. The front cover she did I love, I think when I get it printed up it will definitely get people interested enough to pick it up and open it.
I wan to make a couple of dialogue changes before printing, but it's looking essentially done, and I couldn't be more chuffed.

Strange visitor

OK, so I've got up late, come downstairs in my PJ's and picked up my copy of 2000ad which the poostman has kindly delivered.
Then there's a ring on the doorbell.
Now, being less than proud of how my half naked body looks these days, I cowered behind the half opened door while answering. It was a sweet looking little old lady.
"I'm here about the new born baby."
Puzzled frown, shake of head, "There's no baby here."
"I'm sure there is, I just spoke to them and confirmed I'd be there in just a minute."
Now I'm looking around wildly for a baby that definitely didn't exist in the house last night when I went to bed.
"Nope, we really don't have a baby here."
"6 ***********?" (I'm not actually prinitng my address here.)
"Yeah, that's us."
"Then I'm here for the baby."
Right, now I'm getting panicky, I'm sure I'm in the right house. At least I was, now there's some thoughts creeping in that the world has gone a bit wonky.
"See, it's 6 *********, Othertown. Ah, missed that."
Sigh of relief, "Yeah, this is 6 *********, Myvillage."
"My mistake. Goodbye."
Close door, shake head. Consider going back to bed and starting the day all over again.

I didn't, but I kinda wish I had.

Treading Water AGAIN!

And once again I am avoiding doing database work by writing here in this blog. I think this post possibly makes this my most written in blog so far, what an honour for it.
SO, no writing done since Friday, 500-some words in an hour that night, slacking since. However, once again re-discovered my bedroom floor on Saturday, and in doing so unearthed my notebook that I wrote some future shock scripts in. Specifically, the Terror Tale I did and have been unsuccessfully trying to re-write ever since. Needs tweaking, but I should get that done on Wednesday and off to Tharg before leaving for work on Thursday (I hope).
Supposed to be going to see Underworld: Evolution tomorrow, hope it lasts longer in the memory than the first one did. Came out after seeing with my mate, we turned to each other and couldn't remember a damn thing that happened in it. It did at least keep us entertained for 2 hours, which is more than other films I've seen have done.
Been working my way through Band of Brothers on the weekends with my Dad. I still think it's one of the best television series ever produced, and it's a shame that with every reality show that costs 10p to make and keeps the masses zombied out, the chance of another show like it really diminishes, especially over here. I want the BBC to stop chasing ratings and make more shows like Doctor Who, more work for scriptwriters and real actors. Y'know, people with actual talent.
Erm, right, rant over, back to the database grind.

A time for Red

So the weeks most unsurprising football story is over, and we've signed Theo Walcott.
Wasn't too sure about having the lad, but after seeing some of his goals on the Championship review last night, I am convinced he can become great, especially if Theirry Henry stays about to pass on his knowledge.
Only thing the lad has to worry about is the point that Arsenal signed Jermaine Pennant when he was young. Yeah, this young talented lad who Wenger nutured was recently playing for Birmingham (and when that's not the worst part of the story you've got to be concerned) while wearing one of those ankle tags so the police knew where he was.

Beyond that, I am sat here, getting ready to consume an entire bottle of red and get down to some work on one of the 2 novels I am going to focus on until I get that call from Abaddon. My kids novel or Matthew Reilly meets HP Lovecraft.
I'm more up for the Reilly/Lovecraft one at the moment.

I think.

[Edit] It's definitely that one. Just found my page of quotes for it, have to get to the point where I can put this in.

Scientist: Violence is not always the answer.
Jackson: But when it is, I'm a f*****g star pupil.

Is this progress?

Here I am, posting when I should be working. That is, real work, looking through magazines for anyone who has advertised but isn't in my database. It is unbelievably boring, especially as I have got myself all worked up over the fact that an eamil this morning told me one of my pitches has been passed on to a series creator. This means one of two things, Jon liked it and thinks it could work in that world, or he enjoyed it but can't make a decision based on his own thougts because he knows me and I have been sneaking in begging notes onto the end of my submission emails.
It would be nice if it is the former, I hoped Jon could stay neutral when he read my submissions, as a friend I would like him to get me a paying gig, as a writer I want to be judged purely on the merits of what I write.
Anyhew, hopefully the guy who came up with the world will like it enough and I can move on to the next stage of the process, a chapter by chapter breakdown, and that actually scares me. So far all my writing has had a broad outline and then things have changed in the actual telling. In my big work-in-progress kids novel, f'r instance, the hero suddenly left the nicely crafted party I had made, met a new character I had to scrabble to find a name for, met another character about 2 chapters before I planned, and gave me the answer to a question I had posed myself.
I don't know how much freedom a chapter breakdown will leave me, but probably not that much. On the other hand, 6 years on and that book is still only half done, so maybe a rigid structure can prevent the stopping times I immerse myself in.
Meh.

Right, back to databases, how I hate them.

...not quite.

So I knuckled down and cranked out the pitch for a zombie story for Abaddon.
Yay for me.
At least that is something productive out of these past few days.
Best get cracking on the next pitch and those scripts tomorrow if I'm not too shagged out.

Another wasted weekend...

It's now Monday, and all those great things I had planned for the weekend have failed to materialise.
Futurequake have asked me to shrink a 5 page Furture Shock into 1 page, in fact they asked before Christmas and I still haven't done it.
Had an idea for a new Terror Tale, didn't even start on it, but I think it probably needs a bit more thinking on because I realised my original plan doesn't quite track.
Finally, writing up one of the 2 pitches I want to make to Jon at Abaddon, total failure. Thought about them, sure, written anything, no.
However I have made some progress in my head on the zombie story today, it's a neat little way to go from 0 - 50000 zombies really quickly. Insta-zombie! Zombies in a tin! Obviously that isn't how I'll do it, but it has that kind of feel to it.
Would have done some toaday, planned to and everything. But sat down to do the work for my actual job, and managed to kncker myself.
This CFS/ME is really putting a pisser on "The Year of Rob."
But I'll get there, see if I don't!

Just a Thought

You can check out one of the character designs for my comic on the artist's website.
http://www.emmaolsen.com
If you vote for her on TopWeb Comics, the link's on the right of the page.
Check out her comic as well.
Then curse because she is only 14! Dammit I can't even get stickmen to look right.

But then, that's why I write, because I can't draw, sing, play a musical instrument or any of the other things you need talent for.

A New Beginning.

A new year, a(nother) new blog, time to begin.

Well today I finally finished and emailed off my pitch for one of the Abaddon worlds. Abaddon is a new imprint from Rebellion, the people currently publishing 2000ad, and they have 4 new worlds in which they will be releasing novels. Mine was done for the steampunk Magna Britannia series.
Hopefully it will get a favourable response, I have 2 others to set down and send before the deadline of March 31st, 1 for the fantasy world and one for a zombie novel. It would be nice to get commisioned to write one, mostly for the money (£3500 - not to be taken lightly when you are as broke as me) and the other because it may kickstart me into actually doing some damn writing!
If it all looks bad I will have to badger the commisioning editor (I know where he lives) until he gives me a story to re-pitch to him guaranteeing success. Not the ideal way, but hey!

The next month or so should see the launch of my website, domain as yet unknown as I don't have the money to buy it at the moment :P
Also, my first comic work should be available on the net within the next 2 weeks. It's a small thing that I will be using as an advert to promote myself, something suggested by Andy Diggle, writer of The Losers for Vertigo - he's a nice bloke as well.

So, until I next do something,

That Is All.